Asian and Western culture are totally different. If you’re dating a Vietnamese man for the first time, you might find it weird to discover some of their traits. But as you know, this boils down to their culture of being reserved and well-mannered.
Viet guys take dating seriously, especially those raised with strong traditional beliefs. They foresee you as a future wife and might not entertain emotions right away. Local men would weigh deeply about it to make sure that you’re the one. If they invite for consequent dates, it means that they are interested in taking it seriously with you.
Aside from this, here are the 10 points you should know.
1. You shouldn’t make the first move
As a nod to their culture, Viet men are supposed to make the first move of asking for a date. If you take the first step, they might find it an off thing and dismiss you as an “easy catch”. Local folks don’t like that. They expect women to be submissive to men when it comes to relationships. Whether that is good or bad, the culture can only decide.
If there’s one big difference about dating a Viet guy and an American guy is that Viets date to marry. They don’t fling or goof around. And I think that’s a big deal of sincerity you’ll get from there.
2. Dating a Vietnamese man is also be a family gathering event
Vietnamese people and most Asians put their family first. They want their family to be involved with the woman their seeing. That means he will introduce you to them even on the first date. But don’t be nervous about it as it’s a sign that the guy is serious with you.
His family members or friends may accompany you on your first dates. This is normal as they consider romance not just a private affair. They want the whole family to agree with it and support it.
3. You’re not supposed to show affection in public
Locals here are culturally prohibited to show any affection in public. Be it holding hands, kissing, or putting the arms on the shoulder of the opposite sex. They find it disrespectful and you must follow suit. Don’t feel that the guy is so emotionless just because he won’t kiss you or touch you. Viet men have high regard to their family’s dignity. Being caught in public doing affectionate things might be a cause of scandal for their clan.
Even if you’re not used to it, make a guy a little favor and respect his social bubble.
4. Don’t invite him for a movie on the first date
Viet men usually bring their dates to public places where they can be easily seen. Being alone in the dark will not be a good thing if you’re dating a Vietnamese man for the first time. Avoid pushing him to watch a movie on a cinema because you’ll shame him to the locals. Unless he suggests, you shouldn’t make the invite.
This may not apply all the time as the younger generation is already breaking the rules. But if the guy came from a traditional clan, you’ll have to reserve the movies in the future.
5. Let him pay for the date
Asian guys have this pride ever since dating began. Never contest with them about splitting the bill because, in Vietnam, men should pay for dates. This is a proof that they can be good providers. Locals here value such trait as women are taught to entertain men who can sustain a family.
This roots from their ancestors, unlike American guys who might consider accepting your share. Viet guys don’t like going Dutch and I assure you, they will fight for the bill. They will already have the bill at hand even before you can grab your wallet.
6. Don’t be turned off if he still lives with his parents
Asian families are typically extended where children, parents, and grandparents live together. Some may leave the house upon marriage while other may still stay. Don’t be turned off if you’re dating a Vietnamese man who stays with his parents even if he’s already in his 20s. Viet families are close-knit and they cling together as much as possible.
Living with his parents doesn’t mean that he can’t pay for his own. It’s a matter of culture and love for their folks. It’s rare for Asians to send their elders to a shelter. They will likely take care of them until they pass away.
7. Viet guys value the consent of their parents
Viet guys will surely ask the consent and opinion of their parents about dating you. This is one of the reasons why they would invite you over. In short, you are dating not just the guy but his whole family. This might be appalling at first, but once you get their affection, they will fight for you no matter what.
Unlike American guys, Viets don’t pursue their affections right away. They don’t like complications.
8.Dating a Vietnamese man can be very formal at first
As much as Viets are true gentlemen, expect that they will be very formal on your first date. They would likely talk about career and other topics that won’t touch their emotions. Don’t think of it as rude because Viet guys don’t like to be involved emotionally with women they just met.
They will respect you well and won’t take advantage. Anyway, there are still jerks in this country, so be careful.
9. He will insist on meeting your folks first
Local guys here wouldn’t want to take their dates without the consent of their parents. Don’t fight him over if he wants to talk to your folks. This means that they respect you and your parents. He would usually bring gifts during his visits to your house so be appreciative enough to accept it.
10. He will never initiate sex on the first date
Sex is one thing that is unlikely to happen on your first date with a Viet guy. Locals are taught to keep distance with their dates, especially on first ones. Though the younger generation tends to sleep together prior to marriage, some well-mannered guys won’t do this.
Don’t start with forced kissing because they will send you away and think of you as a girl maniac. If you want a one-night stand, you might find it hard to do it with a Viet local.
Dating a Vietnamese man isn’t that different from dating a Westerner. If you’ll understand the culture, your race will never be an issue. Viet guys are romantic once you won their hearts. They are true gentlemen and worth the date. Are you seeing a Viet guy? How’s your first date?
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4 Comments
These sound more reasonable to me than many traits American men tend to embody. On average, would Vietnamese parents be okay with their son dating a white woman?
In my opinion, the answer is yes, Vietnamese’s parents will accept a white woman, they always want the best for their son.
So if you have knowledge of Vietnamese Culture, well behaved, patience, … and understand Vietnamese is a plus in front of his parent.